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Affichage des articles dont le libellé est Approach. Afficher tous les articles
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est Approach. Afficher tous les articles

vendredi 24 septembre 2010

Tips on How to Approach Women - 3 Ways to Make Women Respond to YOU



Nothing could be worse than to see a woman that totally makes your knees buckle, and not have the guts to make a move and approach her. Yet, this experience seems to happen a LOT for most guys, and if you find this happening to you, you might be interested in finding out how to get past this issue and approach women with confidence and know how to make a woman respond favorably to you.


Anxiety about approaching a woman is actually really common amongst guys, even those that never have anxiety about any other things in their lives. So, it's okay to feel as though you could use a little help in this area of your life.


Here are 3 tips on how to approach women and make them respond to YOU:


1. Walk with confidence when you make your approach.


Walking up to a woman can take a lot of guts, so you need to make sure that your body language reflects that. If you look like you are unconfident in yourself, then you are not going to make the kind of impression that WOWs a woman and makes her want to get to know you. Body language plays a BIG role in human attraction, and displaying the right body language can make a world of difference in the way that women respond to you.


2. Be friendly and smile.


Some guys like to try the tough guy approach or the cool guy approach when they walk up to a woman. Most of the time, this is not really going to make her want to open up to you. A more effective solution is to just be friendly and smile. The more relaxed you can make a woman feel when you approach her, the more you will end up being successful at making women want to have you approach them.


3. Have some way of building rapport with her.


When you approach a woman, you want to build rapport with her right away. The quicker you can do this, the quicker you can get on to bigger and better things. You have to try and make a real connection so that she feels as though she has just a met a guy that is worth getting to know a little more. Using fake lines and fake routines does not usually do the trick, so you want to develop your own style, an authentic approach.


 







jeudi 23 septembre 2010

Finding Healthy Dating Relationships - How to Squash Approach Anxiety



Finding healthy dating relationships almost certainly requires you to overcome approach anxiety. Think about it, approach anxiety leaves you with fewer options because you're not creating them by meeting new dates. This is the number one reason why people end up settling into undesirable and even unhealthy dating relationships. In fact, some men are so afraid of approach that they're also afraid to commit to long term relationships because of the fear that they might be "missing something better" because they never learned to approach and explore their options.


The good news is that approach anxiety is not a natural fear, it's a learned fear. Anything that can be learned can be unlearned; it's simply a matter of knowing how....


What Causes Approach Anxiety?


I've heard all the silly explanations for why we have approach anxiety, but having a background in sales, I've learned that the reason people fear approaching people is because they fear rejection. Fear of rejection, just like approach anxiety, is a learned fear and believe it or not, most people TRAIN themselves to fear rejection by making it a goal to get someone to say yes. This applies in sales and it applies in dating, here's why...


Imagine yourself running East, what are you running away from? That's right, you're running from West. There's no way to run in both directions at once, and the faster you run in one direction the faster you run away from the other. Now, take that same logic and apply it to rejection and acceptance, the two are just as opposite as East and West.


The problem is that if you make it a goal to approach someone and to get them to give you their phone number or say yes to a date, you're automatically making it your goal to avoid rejection. So you're sending your brain and nervous system mixed messages and trying to get it to run East and West at the same time. Think about it, the first message you're giving it is: "Our goal is to avoid rejection and get a yes." and the other message is: "The goal is to not be afraid of rejection."


This is where the anxiety sets in, your brain is being told to not fear rejection, yet it's being encouraged to avoid it. Avoidance breeds fear, yet your trying to fight that fear at the same time. Naturally, this creates tension in your nervous system just like you can create tension in a string by pulling it in two different directions.


So how do you create harmony and train yourself to not fear rejection?


Going Toe to Toe With Rejection


If avoidance breeds fear, confrontation erases it. Think about it, how do you overcome any other kind of fear? Not by running away, that's for sure. You meet it head on and you do it ON PURPOSE. The on purpose part is key, and if you make it a definite goal to face rejection and ridicule, your fear of rejection will make its departure. To go toe to toe with fear or rejection, start approaching at least one person (male or female) a day with a request that's 100% certain to invite rejection and even ridicule.


I've found that businesses are a great place to do this. For example, ask your dry cleaner if they sell exercise bikes, or go into a McDonald's and order a Whopper (that one's fun). Walk into a bookstore and ask where their lingerie section is. Yes, it's stupid and people will think you're weird and you'll FEEL weird about it. That's the whole point, confronting the experience of social anxiety and inviting rejection.


The more you do this, the more familiar those awkward feelings will become and the less anxiety they'll cause you. You don't have to have a pleasant experience with something to become comfortable with it, you just have to have the experience enough times to build familiarity. Think about it, people become comfortable with awkward and even uncomfortable things all the time simply because they're familiar. Think of the child who grows up around domestic violence and ends up in a similar situation when they get married.


Familiarity drives out fear, so get familiar with the feeling of rejection and pretty soon the fear of it will no longer hold you back.







mercredi 22 septembre 2010

The Best Pick-Up Lines Don't Work! Learn 4 Sure-Fire Approach Strategies to Meet Women



I want to draw a distinction between an "opener" and a "pick up line". An opener is any kind of question or statement used to introduce yourself, spark curiosity / interest, and bridge into a conversation. Pick-up lines are a sub-category of openers; they're scripted, greasy, stale attempts to get a reaction. The idea that you can win a woman over with the right pick-up line is a widely held misconception. The classic pick-up line opener has been out of style for decades and attempting one will mark you as hopelessly out of touch. Lines fail miserably. Here's why

* They sound canned. Because they are. She thinks: "..., and now that line has failed 1,347 consecutive times"

* She's heard them all before. Pretty girls get hit on a lot- they've heard every line there is. After a while, the same routine goes from boring to aggravating. She'll take great joy in shooting you down and then laugh at you with all of her friends.

* Lines are demeaning. Hit her with your best line and she's going to think, "Really? I look like someone that's going to fall for that? You think so little of me that you assume I might appreciate that old cheese?"

* They don't offer a segue to further conversation. "Yes, my daddy was a thief. Yes, his biggest heist was stealing the stars from the heavens and putting their twinkle in my eyes. You think I have nice eyes. Thanks. You must be going now."

* Chances are, if you're relying on a line, you have doubts. Those insecurities are magnified and projected. Not cool.

What kind of openers DO work? I'm not offering any surefire brand-new relationship ignition technology (although I do like the ring of that, and should trademark it before some PUA pirate steals it). Men and women have been fucking for milennia, so there's nothing new under the sun. But the following opening strategies have a considerably higher success rate than 'lines'.

* Say something about the situation or environment. Note anything interesting, unusual or funny. (Dull: "I hate standing in lines. What about you?" Engaging: "Third time today I've picked the wrong line - but I have a feeling my luck's about to turn around")

* Pay her a SMALL but sincere compliment on something specific. (Bad: "Hey, great cans... are they natural?" Good: "The design on your jacket is wild- is it hand painted?")

* Make a statement. Most women are fed-up with the 'interrogation mode' most guys get stuck in, and they don't want to answer the same string of boring questions. A statement opens the door for her to agree or disagree. (Weak: "I see you have the new WhizBang phone" Better: "The waitress is missing in action. We should send out a rescue team.")

* Ask her opinion. This is also an excellent way to approach a group of women. Remember, when relating to a group, address everyone and keep your head on a swivel. In no time, you'll ascertain who's interested, and who's a snarky c*ck-blocker so you can focus your attention on high-probability targets. (Horrific: "Ladies, let me get your opinion... can a man with a small penis please a woman?" Smooth: "Can I trouble you ladies for your opinion? It'll take a second... my friend over there hasn't heard from his girlfriend for three days. They've only been dating for a month or so. He's already tried to call her a bunch of times... he's worried. I say stop worrying and stop trying to contact her- this is her way of blowing you off. What do you think?"

These are just a few ideas. Remember, the opener is just one piece of the puzzle, and even the best opener won't make up for a bad game. Men, to be successful, you've also got to consider:
* Your mindset
* The right timing
* Angle of approach
* The attitude you project
* Your attire and accouterments
* Personal space / proximity
* Vocal tone and volume
* Body language & eye contact
* Grooming
* How you smell
* Ability to read and respond to social cues
* Conversational fluency
* How to 'close'
* When to exit *.


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Should You Approach A Guy Who's Out Of Your League? Follow This Advice on What You Should Do



First off, telling yourself that a guy is out of your league is defeatist and unhealthy. It's also often downright false.

So yes, you should absolutely approach a guy who's supposedly out of your league. Here's some things to consider:

He's Likely to be Insecure Deep Down

Some of the most attractive and successful people you'll ever come across are burdened by deep and severe insecurities.

Keep this in mind as you plan how to approach him. As insecure as you may feel, chances are decent that is not as egocentric as you may think him to be. In fact, it's likely to be the opposite. Even if he acts like he is full of himself, it's probably just a mask for how insecure he really is deep down.

Confident Energy Can Overpower Anything

Confidence is the ultimate man-magnet. No matter what kind of guy or how out of your league you may consider him to be, a confident "I-Can-Do-Anything" attitude can intrigue him.

Weak and insecure women are everywhere, and he's certainly dated his share and is surrounded by this type of female on a daily basis. Set yourself apart and assert yourself as a kick-ass chick by acting like one and believing that's what you are.

Don't Mention Your Fears or Insecurities to Him

A good rule of thumb for all or most dating situations is to never admit defeat!

No matter what, you don't ever want to imply or clearly state that you think you're not good enough for him. Also, don't ever act grateful just because you got a date with him or grateful for any time he may devote to you.

Look Like a Princess and Act Like One Too

If you're the frugal type of gal who doesn't spend a lot of money on your appearance, chances are you work hard and have a decent-sized savings account. Therefore, you deserve a chance to splurge a bit on yourself.

This may be scary if you're not used to spending more than a tiny amount of money on your grooming and appearance upkeep, but be brave and know that you're not splurging for some guy, but because deserve it. Get your hair done by a great stylist/colorist (check the "best of" listings online for your city). Invest in a great designer handbag and/or watch.

You can also buy yourself a fabulous right-hand "statement ring" to establish your independence and show the world your glamorous side. Once you've given yourself a mini upscale makeover, act like a princess as well by carrying yourself with elegance and holding yourself up high. You are beneath no one!

Do Your Homework

The more you learn about this guy, the easier it will be to make yourself an object of desire to him.

Find out what he likes, where his favorite hangouts are, and who his best pals are. It's not hard to win a guy over if you have pre-planned how to do it. Men are often unprepared for a confident, vibrant and intelligent woman to come along and be ahead of the curve.

Befriend His Friends and Infiltrate His Circle

You can distinguish yourself from most other females and establish yourself in his life firmly by making his friends love you. Approach them, buy them a round of drinks (or several), take them all to a game, etc. Do whatever you have to do to make his friends love you.

Make Your Move Fearlessly

The time has come to make your move. If you are well-liked by his buddies at this point, it will be that much easier.

Some point after you've gotten to know him, approach him fearlessly and tell him that you have something fantastic planned for the two of you. Make it hard for him to turn you down by turning up the charm. Before you know it, you're very likely to be on your first date with him.

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