It's Not Too Late to Stop the Divorce

No matter who is to blame or whether or not the divorce courts are already involved, it's not too late to reverse course, stop the divorce proceedings, and start working to save your marriage. Salvaging your marriage can be boiled down to keeping a positive attitude, while implementing a series of positive and proactive actions, If you are lucky, a better and stronger relationship will be the result.
But before rushing into a half baked plan to stop the divorce proceedings, it would be prudent to take a step back and thoughtfully examine the reasons for wanting to end the marriage in the first place. Take a close look at your relationship and try to identify where things went wrong. You'll need to take an honest look at the marriage and determine the root cause of the failure. Ask yourself why you are really doing this and whether or not your intentions are sincere. And most importantly, honestly evaluate the good points and the bad points of the marriage then ask yourself whether or not it's a relationship really worth saving.
If you feel that the good outweighs the bad, and that divorce is not the path you want to follow, here are 5 steps that you can take to save your marriage:
Step 1 - Extend an Olive Branch
Using legal maneuvers can postpone or even stop divorce proceedings, however the wiser course of action would be to simply open an honest and sincere dialog with your estranged spouse.
Step 2 - Make Your Feelings Known
If your spouse agrees to listen, make every attempt to communicate your feelings in a calm, coherent and dignified manner.Your spouse needs to clearly understand your reasons for wanting to reconcile, and must buy into your plan for fixing the relationship. Throughout this process you should be working together to ensure that you both understand what led you to the brink of divorce, and discuss strategies to put into place so that it will not re-occur in the future.
Step 3 - Learn to listen
Swallow your pride, open your heart, and simply listen to what is on your spouse's mind.Even if an immediate reconciliation is not possible, you may pick up valuable insights that you can use to move forward in your life.
Step 4 - Benefit from what you learn
Once you have had an opportunity to communicate your feelings, and have taken the time to consider the response of your spouse, it's time to re-evaluate your position based on what you learned. You just may gain valuable insights about what led you to divorce that you can use to improve your situation whether or not reconciliation is possible. In an effort to avoid divorce, are you willing to swallow your pride and take into consideration what your spouse has to say?
Step 5 - Be Proactive in your recovery
If you spouse is unwilling to consider a reconciliation, has developed another love interest, or your split occurred because of domestic violence, you may be better off to abandon the attempt to repair your relationship and move forward with the divorce. While it may be wise to keep your options open in regards to reconciliation, you owe it to yourself to explore new beginnings and to seek out a fruitful and beneficial new relationship when you feel the time is right.
Divorce can be avoided
If and when you and your spouse decides to stop the divorce and move forward with reconciliation, take positive and proactive action in rebuilding a new and stronger marriage. Work together on the issues that were uncovered in your discussions, and seek professional help if you feel it's necessary, and it most likely will be. Don't lose sight of the fact that a marriage damaged to the point of landing in divorce court will undoubtedly take a concerted effort to repair. Rest assured that there will be many bumps and detours on the road to recovery. Do your best to keep a positive attitude each and every day and never loose sight of your ultimate goal which is a happy, healthy and loving relationship for both you and your spouse.
If, after all of your combined efforts your spouse decides to proceed with the divorce, you must switch into recovery mode and focus on yourself and how to improve your current and future situation. It will be vital for your own mental health to stay positive and work on forging a new self image that relies on the strength resulting from lessons learned. It may seem like a worn out cliche, but it is true that everything happens for a reason, and a few months after a divorce you may find yourself happier, healthier, and better off for the experience.
Many couples have found it possible to side step divorce a build new and fruitful relationships. But for those who have not, it is still possible to benefit from the experience by being open to the lessons learned and willing to accept and grow from whatever life throws at you.

Aldo Tate is an accomplished writer and internet marketer specializing in Human Relationships,blogging,and affiliate marketing. See more of Aldo's work at Save Your Marriage.

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